Sex:WhatAboutIt.com

Some children are taught that sex is bad, that those who do it without being married are nasty and will go to hell, and that sex is something they should not talk about with their parents because it is embarrassing.

Other children are taught that sex is a gift from God and that it is to be reserved for marriage. Children are told that waiting to have sex is good because it celebrates their union in marriage.

Unfortunately, most children are taught at a very young age that sex is nothing special, that it’s just part of life and of growing up. It’s no wonder then, that children talk about sex and want to be sexy (even as young as kindergarten).

By the time children reach their tween years, they want to know more about sex. Because sex is all around them, they often experiment with it among each other. This changes their perception of love and marriage and how sex fits into an adult relationship.

Once they’ve become involved in sexual activity without understanding how to treat it properly, they begin to wonder “Why all the fuss?” about something that is supposed to be natural. As a result, they pick up on the mixed messages that sexperts, parents, and friends give them about sex.

As parents and teachers of our youth, we need to be a lot clearer about the responsibilities that go along with sex. Taking moral standards out of the mix just complicates their understanding of sex and the role that sex has in appropriate human behavior.

I ask you to consider these points when talking to your tweens about sex. Don’t let the opportunity to do this pass by, even if you are nervous and stumble in presenting it to your adolescents.  The important thing is to start a dialog with them so they come to you with questions instead of their peers. They know they can trust you to give them correct information instead of yelling at them for asking.

We would appreciate hearing from you on how you have handled this topic with your children or you know how someone else has handled this question. Give us the positive and negatives that have come out of these discussions to help others of us with our discussions. Thanks.

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