Sex:WhatAboutIt.com

Why Are We Surprised?

First let me talk to the parents and then to the teens. I do this so parents and teens can better understand each other and appreciate how I can help you in your discussions about sex.

Parents:
We will do our youth a great injustice when we neglect to teach them that their outside appearance does not represent who they are internally. Society teaches them the opposite: that, if they are not beautiful, they will get no where in life. They need to know that this is a lie and that their character is what people admire about them.

Teens and Tweens:
Girls, you do not need to do pretty much anything to make yourselves acceptable to boys.

Boys, you need to understand that there are limits for what you should expect from girls.

Boys and girls both need to better understand how to respect themselves, protect the integrity of their souls, and how to treat each other with respect and acceptance for who they are internally instead of what they can do to satisfy your lust.

Of course, inappropriate behavior by girls and boys and adult men and women, is not new. What is new is the way teen girls try to please boys today.

Parents:

We don’t just have girls giving away their chastity to be popular, we have them doing things that no child or teen should be doing. Not only do they give away sex, but they participate in parties like none I ever attended. Even in restrooms at school, they are caught doing things we wouldn’t dream of when I was a teen.

We may be appalled by the behavior of our society today and very surprised by the degree of it, however, we are not always responsible for what has happened!  Did we not teach our children the right way to show love and how to give boys proper attention? Or, perhaps, did we just assume that they understand and then act surprised (even shocked) when they do some of the things we see them do?

If we didn’t teach them the values, limits, and boundaries that sex carries with it, and we didn’t teach them by our examples, then what else can we expect from them? Often, we leave that duty up to the churches and schools, even though the schools and churches have fallen down on this responsibility…just as we parents have fallen down on our duties to teach children.

Teens and Tweens:
Did your parents try to teach you correct behavior but you overrulled them by doing what you darn well felt like doing because you wanted to. To heck with your parent’s “Old Fashioned Values” because it’s okay to do what nature intended for you to do and because it feels good?

If this is the case, let me ask you to consider the results of your choices. Do you really feel valued by your friends and are you really happy with your choices? What happened to your individuality and personal liberty to choose? All you seem to care about is the pressure you feel to follow the crowd and please your friends? How is being like everyone else to be popular making you an individual and popular for your own qualities, not for what you do for boys and how well you please your friends?

Why are you so surprised when the stakes keep getting higher for you to be acceptable, and still you feel unhappy? Could it be that there is another way to live that is pleasing to you and your happiness?

Please feel free to leave a comment about your experiences or your feelings about this topic.

See More Than Frosting, and my book ”SexWhatAboutIt” at Amazon.com as well.

Thanks, Judith Sherman

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